closer than we think

 

book - Strangers to Ourselves

Author- Shashi Deshpande

                                                        

The book starts with a middle-aged oncologist who is living alone after getting divorced and has a really small social circle. follows a daily routine. encounters people with a high possibility of death every day at work. 

And then one day she gets an invitation from her  boss for a musical evening where she crosses paths with a classical singer and then it all begins. It is not a simple, linear story of two people getting to know each other rather it is a whirlpool of stories weaved together with the possibility of death every now and then.

Here she meets Jyoti, a patient who becomes a close friend and house owner. singer's visits become more frequent. story goes back in time again and again to reflect on the failed marriage of her own and also of her parents. feeling becomes more and more hard to resist but memories of the past haunt her. It becomes increasingly difficult to decide whether to get married or to stay in a relationship that is welcomed by dear ones but does not get social acceptability even in the eyes of a security guard.

Her dilemma irritates him. His childhood upbringing in a traditional family strengthened his belief in marriage but she is not ready to commit. 

meanwhile, she comes across a story written by her great-great-grandmother which leaves everyone awestruck because people she thought were strangers for so long are as she comes to realize not strangers at all.

does Jyoti get cured? do they get married? who are these strangers that the story talks about? For all these answers the book becomes an interesting read.

this story is of togetherness, separateness, fear of death and acceptance of mortality, inhibitions, the pure joy of being with someone, an emptiness that engulfs, and then after all it is about moving on and sometimes it is about understanding that stories of others matter because they are closer than we think.

sharing my favorite paragraphs from the book 

"lover's conversations are of no consequence to anyone but themselves; at times, not even to themselves. the word don't really matter. To speak is to affirm that you are with your beloved, each word is like a caress, it is a promise of love. And with the questions which they, like all lovers ask of each other, when did you...? why did you...? how did you...? they are actually bridging the gap between their earlier separateness and this present togetherness. In a while the earlier time is left behind, it's forgotten, it's always been this way, they've always known each other, They've always been together. This is their time of revelation, discoveries, coincidences." page 107 of paperback edition

"Nature has not been kind to men. They have to carry the yoke of their libido almost all their lives. And a man's libido is very strong. At times it becomes so loud that it drowns out a whole orchestra of emotions. What remains is only that one tune, that one instrument." page 145 of paperback edition

"marriage is a site of possible betrayer" page 148 of paperback edition.

author- Shashi Deshpande